i'm sorry for feeling this way. it's seems so hard being in a relationship, no matter who that person is. i guess life and things don't go smooth at all times. i've had my hard times, i guess i'm still going through it. i want to be stronger. i am i'm sure. but day by day i just don't know how to face it and handle it. it's getting tougher and tougher.
i wish i could do something about all these. i hope that they understand me, if not a lot, a little bit would do. it seems so hard to let it out. it seems so hard to be okay. a smile on my face can only last a minute, but inside crying can't even stop a minute. this is my phase of life where ups and downs are haunting me. i understand this is a cycle. at times i's way up there, and now i'm just down on the ground. if only i gather my feelings and thoughts and write it down, i would o make you and you understand. but i can't do much. you both are more powerful and honestly, i wouldn't want to lose either one of you. i love you both the most. i can't imagine not having you but deep down, i just want to live a normal happy life. i don't understand how cash can blind you. i don't understand why these things are nothing to you. yes i know you've has your past, i've got mine too but i understand that we need to move on. all i want from you and you is just happiness and to understand me. i know i may be demanding at times, but i'm not that dumb. i pray to Allah to show me the light and give me strength to move on with life and to stand on both feet. Alhamdulillah i'm still standing. but fell a few times but i can still manage to get up. i wish you could read what's in my heart, mind and soul. i love you and i wish that you love me back more than i do.
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